As an adult, I have experienced a handful of life-changing events. My high school graduation, my wedding day, and the birth of my children are moments that I will never forget! Ten years ago, I received the honor of being able to call myself, Mom. What a joy it has been to grow as a mother and a person over the last ten years.
Of course, at the ripe old age of 10, I'm sure the following message to my son wouldn't mean a whole lot. But, since I'm printing these entries and saving them, it's possible that sometime, later in his life, he would like to know how he came into this world. So, as you read the rest of this posting, keep that in mind. He won't be receiving this in his birthday card from me.
Enjoy...
September 1996 Tim and I made the decision to start our family. We had been married just shy of a year. One month later, on our first anniversary, we found out we were expecting our first child. He would be due June 24, 1997.
The pregnancy started off wonderful, even though the all-day sickness was horrible. I never puked but felt so sick all day and all night long. This lasted right up until delivery. Around the 32nd week of pregnancy, my blood pressure started to rise. My ankles and legs started to swell and the water weight piled on. It was then discovered that I put on 11 pounds in nine days, they took my complaints a little more serious. I was placed on modified bedrest, told to increase my fluids, and was watched a little closer. My visits became more frequent, my blood pressure steadily increased as did my weight. During the last OB visit I attended, they scheduled me to start having Non Stress Tests done twice a week. Little did I know that I wouldn't be needing those visits.
Dear Jacob,
Ten years ago, your Daddy and I were headed into the hospital with my drivers license and insurance card. I never even packed a bag! Even though I was 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant, I wasn't going in to deliver you. I was just going in for a headache...or so I thought. I had just been into the doctor that morning for an appointment. Less than twelve hours later, I developed a headache that was like no other headache I had ever endured before. I called my doctor at 11pm and he told me that from what I was describing, he thought I had the flu. I called the labor and delivery unit at the hospital and explained to them what was going on. I was told to take two Tylenol and if after an hour things were not better then to come in. I had already been bedrest for over a month, had some excessive swelling, my blood pressure had been on the rise and with the sudden development of the worst headache I had ever endured, I knew something was not right. I took the tylenol and called your daddy home from work. By the time he arrived, I couldn't even open my eyes. I felt the need to vomit, my head pounded with each beat of my heart, and all I wanted to do was to be at the hospital. Daddy drove to the hospital as I buried my head in a towel. I couldn't focus my eyes on anything. The lights of the passing cars were too much to handle.
Once I made it to the hospital, I was placed in a room, where they immediately hooked me up to the monitors and took my vitals. My blood pressure was 146/104. It was approximately 1 AM on June 3, 1997. They took blood work, kept me on continous monitoring, and watched me like a hawk. They tried giving me something to take my headache away but it didn't touch the pain. My blood pressure continued to rise. Approximately 7:00am, my doctor came in to discuss our options. I had developed a condition known as preeclampsia. The only option was to deliver you. Failing to do so would jeopardize both of our lives. Unfortunately, my doctor would not be delivering because his shift was ending at 7:30am.
At 8:00am, I was set up for an induction. I was 37 weeks exactly which meant you would be joining us three weeks early. The pitocin (medicine to start my labor) was running by 8:30am and continued to be increased every 15-30 minutes. I was in such pain. The pounding in my head continued and was the worst pain I had ever experienced from a headache in my life. I was told to stay in bed, on my left side, for the duration of my labor. I never really felt pain from the contractions until later in the afternoon. The nurses kept turning the pitocin up and finally reached the point where they had given me as much as they could without calling the doctor in to assess the situation further. I remember praying to allow me to birth you without the need for a c-section.
At 5:00pm, Daddy decided to head home, shower, change his clothes and return to the hospital. He left, ensuring me that he would be back very soon. Little did he know that he would be held to that promise. At 5:30pm, my water broke. Now, as a first time mom, the feeling of your water breaking is a very odd feeling indeed. I remember telling the nurse that either I just peed myself alot or my water just broke. Sure enough, it was my water. I was checked (and was 1cm) got cleaned up, put back to bed and called Daddy back to the hospital.
The next few hours were difficult. Now that my water had broken, the pain became very intense. I was confined to the bed, on monitors and a blood pressure cuff that went off every few minutes. I was not allowed to move from my left side. I did try to sneak my way over to my back or my right side but within a minute, a nurse was in my room to see why your heartbeat was dropping. So, back to my left side I would go. I even tried to use the restroom excuse. You know, "I had to go to the bathroom"
The pain was intense. I remember thinking to myself that I had made such a mistake by not opting for the epidural. (Like, in the parking lot!!) I was allowed to try using the whirlpool tub but it unfortunately did not provide any relief. As Daddy recalls, I was like a fish out of water. I was flopping around, trying to "escape" the pain. The water was lukewarm and not the temperature that I typically would have used for such pain. The contractions were one on top of another without much of a break in between. The pitocin had thrown my body into labor instead of mother nature taking over. Did I say the pain was intense? I would sit on the toilet, beating my fists on the sink. Pounding them as each contraction would hit. I couldn't get on top of them. I couldn't catch my breath. I was a first time mom without a whole lot of prior knowledge on different coping methods for the pain. I finally made it back to the bed. Now that I look back, those incredibly intense minutes in the bathroom were more than likely when I was going through transition.
I started pushing at approximately 10:30PM. The pain was so intense but the reward was so great. Nineteen minutes later, you were born. At 10:49pm, you were born into our loving arms weighing 6lb 9oz. You were perfect! And it was then, at that very moment, that I was able to feel a mothers love to the fullest extent.
Thank you for letting me be the best mommy that I could be for the last 10 years. We have laughed, we have cried, we have grown. I Love you, Son. Happy 10th Birthday!
Love,
Mom
6 years ago
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