Up in Flames...

Have you ever stood by, watching something very important to you go up in flames? I mean, literally, go up in flames?

One of my biggest fears was that we would have a house fire and we would lose irreplaceable things from our childhood, photos, mementos, as well as each of those things that we have for our own children. Many of nights, I have often thought of how we can be sure we never lose any of these precious treasures. We all know that through the years, we lose certain events from our memory. While digging through an old box of goodies, you tend to run across something that reminds you of your previous years.

I don't have many things that are mine. You know, things that I have from my childhood, my teenage years, even my early adult years. Surely, I have plenty of things that are for the children. Tim has enough "memories" to fill a semi tractor trailer. However, myself, I would say that most of the treasures that I kept would easily fit into two or three small cardboard boxes, at most. I didn't keep many things through the years but the items I did keep, meant something to me. They marked an event in my life that I wanted to remember.

Today, while burining off a pile of brush and such, I spotted a box in the middle of the fire. As I took my stick to spread out the stack of smouldering stuff, my heart nearly stopped beating. There, in the middle of a raging fire, was one of my boxes of childhood treasures. My heart sank.

I tried pulling some of the things out, burning my fingertips. As I brought the things closer to me using the stick, I noticed that there were so many of my things that lay there buring. My grade school report cards, all of my mementos from each of my class trips with the band, things from my senior year, my graduation cards, bridal shower cards, wedding cards, and even well wishes for our first child. I had pages and pages of short stories, poems, journal entries, and so much more that lay before me just burning.

I felt my eyes sting as the tears began to well up inside of them. I knew that I needed to leave before I lost it entirely. There, before me, lay so many memories, physical reminders of the things I had accomplished, things I had to remember my childhood by, letters, poems, journal entries and things that really meant alot to me. There I stood, watching each of those moments burn up into nothing more than a pile of ash.

Angrily, I started shoving the things back into the fire, scattering them among the flames. I threw down my stick and began walking away. "I need a drink" was the only thing I could manage to speak. As I walked away, tears running down my face, I heard, "I'm sorry. I didn't know these were your things. I wouldn't have put them in there if I had."

How many times do YOU throw things into a fire or burn pile without making damn sure that they are not something of importance?

My heart is breaking tonight. I think it has shattered into a million little pieces.