This is a post I wrote back in June 2007. I know some of my readers are feeling a bit "lost" and are looking for their purpose. Just know that you are not alone. Enjoy!
My Purpose:
At times, I ask myself, "Who am I?" I know the obvious. I am a wife. I am a mother. But really, who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
I am a wife. I have been committed to the same person for the last 16+ years. I have been married for the last 12+ years. I have traveled the road of ups and downs as gracefully as I was able. I nurture my marriage. I am passionate. I am spontaneous. I am giving. I am accepting. I am forgiving.
I am a mother. I have been a mother for the last ten years. I have felt pain. I have felt sad, miserable, scared, alone, confined to bed, and resentful. I have also felt happy, proud, elated, blessed, taught, and amazed. My life has been given meaning. Surely it has.
But who am I? Surely my purpose here on Earth is bigger than just being a wife and a mother, isn't it? I try hard to find my path. I search for the path that I am meant to follow. I long to find my purpose that gives me such an incredible fufilling feeling within.
I love my husband. I love my children. But I want more. I want to feel valued and worthy. I want to feel that I'm making a difference. I want to feel self sustaining and feel that I'm contributing. How? When? What is my purpose?
I am more than a mom. I am blessed and thankful more than anyone knows that I am able to stay home to raise each of my children. However, I also feel a sense of loss. I am capable of more than wiping noses and changing diapers. I am capable of more than soothing an upset tummy and bandaging owies. I can handle fevers, teething, and ear infections. I can rock a crying child back to sleep after a nightmare or growing pains. I can cook dinner, give a bath, and read a story. I am raising children to be respectable, responsible people. I can even mend a broken heart. So why is it that I can't define what my purpose is?
Many have said that my purpose is before me. I am facing my purpose, head on. As much as I value and treasure being a mother, I also have a need to fufill. I need to be more. Do more. Feel more.
As I sit, surrounded by the warmth of the love I hold for my family, I think to myself. Someday, my purpose will be very clear.
6 years ago
2 comments:
This is very much like I feel right now, like there is more to my life than just taking care of kids and the house....thank you for reposting this it makes me feel like I am not so alone.
Let me give you the opposite spin on this. I am really into my career. I went right from High School to a four year university, directly to my internship, and right into my teaching position. I have been there for four years now and I am really loving my career. I am making a daily difference in the lives of children whom start as strangers and become as close to me as I can imagine. I know that I am teaching them to read, write, add, ask questions, be curious, make friends, and have respect for themselves and others. I am totally secure in my career life path. On the other hand, I have only been married for a year and a half with no children. I have no idea how I will be as a long-term wife and I am scared to death to be a mother. I think, however, that these latter two parts of life are what matter the most. I am a bit envious of those of you who have your personal lives together. You are making a difference with people you will know forever. And although I make a difference to 22 children each year, next year they will all but forget about me. There are so many ways to look at one's purpose. I don't think one is better or worse, just differnt! :)
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