Time to reflect...

It's quiet here at work. The phones have been silent most of the night and I have even managed to read 140 pages of a new book.

I have had a lot of time on my hands, as you can see. I have spent this time to reflect on many things that have been stirring in my head. Do you ever get those moments? The ones that you can seem to drift off into thought for what seems like hours at a time? That is me. The only exception is that mine have been for days at a time.

As I had posted previously, Tim has received his last day to work. He will work one more week before he is laid off long term. At this time, they are estimating it to be approximately one year or longer. Of course, there is nothing that is written in stone. It is all a guessing game at this point but that is what his committee man told him.

In light of the upcoming layoff, I'm feeling pretty good. Perhaps it is because I now have my EMT class finished and am now searching for employment. Even a little extra cash will go a long way. I know that in time, all things will work out. This is just a way for us to be reminded of the many blessings we already have. A subtle reminder to not be greedy.

That reminds me... While shopping today with my oldest, I overheard a conversation between a father and a son. Apparently this child wanted more than one toy but only had $20 to use. The child was around 10-12 years old, I would guess. After several minutes of the mother arguing with this child, the father asked the boy to come to him, making sure to tell him he would not be mad. From the next aisle over, I heard the father explaining to his son how he shouldn't be greedy. He stressed that the child only had $20 to use for his toy(s) and no more. He reminded him of the necessary items that he needed, such as clothes, shoes and food. And then went on to tell him that he could choose something in the $20 price range or he could leave the store with nothing. In the end, I'm not sure what decision the child made. What I do know is that I was encouraged to hear this father talking with his son about not being greedy, especially during times like these.

Another event we witnessed today was a pretty horrific vehicle accident. Knowing that it occurred just moments ahead of us was all the more reason for us to count our blessings. My thoughts are with those involved, whoever they may be.

I'm gearing up to take my National Registry exam next week. I plan to take it mid week and celebrate on Friday! It will be a much needed celebration. Now if only I pass. :) *sigh*

I've started writing again. In my free time, well...when I have any to speak of, I write short stories. I haven't written any in a while because I was occuppied with other responsibilities; however, I have more time to devote to them now. And so, with new inspiration, I have started the writing process again.

In other news, I have also ventured out and have begun a weight loss program. Not a typical program like Weight Watchers, although I hear they are wonderful. This program is something my doctor and I discussed and have come to the conclusion to try. I can only hope for the results I desire. And so, with lots of hard work, willpower, determination and the yearning to gain a new figure...my quest has begun! ::: crossing fingers :::

My shift is up in about 40 minutes so I am going to see if I can go finish my book. Then tonight, when I return to work, I can start another one!

I hope you are all doing well and are enjoying this wonderful weather we are being blessed with (locally). Before long, it will be time to plant the garden! Yikes.

Have a great day,
Becky

Beautiful yet sore

The past week and a half, we've been busily working outdoors in our flower beds, creating new flower beds, creating our circle driveway, and doing lots and lots of rock lifting, hauling, and rearranging. Both of our bodies are feeling just how old we *really* are. Things are coming together quite nicely. Hopefully, if all goes as planned, we will have the front yard completed this week.

We haven't done much of anything else besides the yard work. I've been spending most of the day into the evening outside. It's starting to all come together. That's when you know that each smashed finger, each sore muscle and each aching back is worth it. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself. *smile*

We're just about to head out again to continue but I wanted to update you first. I'll try to get some photos up today of our progress thus far. We've decided to skip any rock lifting today and focus on a few other areas. My back is thankful for that wise decision.

I'll check in tonight.

6 - 4 = 2

Two feet positioned perfectly on two pedals.
Two hands wrapped around two handle bar grips.
Two eyes focused straight ahead.
Two hearts pounding as two hands let go.

Two legs firmly pushing two feet against the pedals.
Two words escape, "Don't Stop!"

Two very proud parents to
one amazing little girl.

Congratulations Katelyn


Katelyn is six. Today, she learned that riding a bike no longer requires four wheels. She can now ride a big two wheeled bike like her brothers. In less than thirty minutes, she was riding Austin's bike around the yard. She had a few crashes but demanded to get back on the bike and keep going.

Even when she ran smack into her dad's trailer and landed her precious parts on the bar of the bike, she wanted to keep going. I am so proud of her! She's pretty excited to show Daddy tomorrow what she has learned.


Oh, how I love being a Mommy!

My Purpose

This is a post I wrote back in June 2007. I know some of my readers are feeling a bit "lost" and are looking for their purpose. Just know that you are not alone. Enjoy!

My Purpose:

At times, I ask myself, "Who am I?" I know the obvious. I am a wife. I am a mother. But really, who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?

I am a wife. I have been committed to the same person for the last 16+ years. I have been married for the last 12+ years. I have traveled the road of ups and downs as gracefully as I was able. I nurture my marriage. I am passionate. I am spontaneous. I am giving. I am accepting. I am forgiving.

I am a mother. I have been a mother for the last ten years. I have felt pain. I have felt sad, miserable, scared, alone, confined to bed, and resentful. I have also felt happy, proud, elated, blessed, taught, and amazed. My life has been given meaning. Surely it has.

But who am I? Surely my purpose here on Earth is bigger than just being a wife and a mother, isn't it? I try hard to find my path. I search for the path that I am meant to follow. I long to find my purpose that gives me such an incredible fufilling feeling within.

I love my husband. I love my children. But I want more. I want to feel valued and worthy. I want to feel that I'm making a difference. I want to feel self sustaining and feel that I'm contributing. How? When? What is my purpose?

I am more than a mom. I am blessed and thankful more than anyone knows that I am able to stay home to raise each of my children. However, I also feel a sense of loss. I am capable of more than wiping noses and changing diapers. I am capable of more than soothing an upset tummy and bandaging owies. I can handle fevers, teething, and ear infections. I can rock a crying child back to sleep after a nightmare or growing pains. I can cook dinner, give a bath, and read a story. I am raising children to be respectable, responsible people. I can even mend a broken heart. So why is it that I can't define what my purpose is?

Many have said that my purpose is before me. I am facing my purpose, head on. As much as I value and treasure being a mother, I also have a need to fufill. I need to be more. Do more. Feel more.

As I sit, surrounded by the warmth of the love I hold for my family, I think to myself. Someday, my purpose will be very clear.

The short version doesn't exist

I have started this post numerous times. I just haven't been able to get all of my thoughts out on the screen and into the journal. I've been busy to the point that I become drained, physically and emotionally. I'm keeping myself busy and making sure that I have as much done around here as I can do (energy pending) before I'm laid up. Tim told me last night that I was "nesting" just as I did when I was pregnant. I asked him if he would do the same if he knew he was going to be laid up for any length of time. He agreed!

Let me recap last week by cutting and pasting the journals that I had started...

Thursday May 31, 2007

What an exhausting day...

First...KUDOS to my dear friend, Jackie, for figuring out why I couldn't get on a certain webpage that I desperately needed to! Thanks for your help in getting it all figured out!!

Today started off bright and early! After getting the kids up, ready and taking them to school, I headed out to begin the errands I had to do while the rest of the family was still asleep. I came home, got Emilee ready for lunch and an appointment and we left again. A dear friend treated us both to lunch at one of our favorite restuarants (THANK YOU Marissa!!!) and we headed back home for Em's appointment.

Emilee all dressed up for her evualation for preschool

The appointment went well. Then it was off to the park to meet up with Tim, JR, and Em's best friend in the whole wide world, Paige. (oh, and Paige's mom & dad). I picked up the other kids from school when it was over and brought them to the park with us.

Austin waiting to play

Emilee swinging

Austin asked me to take this photo!

Jonathon sitting back and relaxing

Emilee & Paige hanging out at the park

Emilee swinging with her tootsies in the air

The kids played hard and had a fantastic time. Watching the joy on their faces as they squealed with delight was priceless. They took turns on the tire swing, where Tim would swing them around at a super-fast-spinning-puking-speed.

Katelyn & Paige on the tire swing

Damon chased them around as the girls giggled and ran away from him. After about an hour and a half, we decided to head home. Of course, Em wasn't looking so hot after her spin on the sure-to-make-you-puke tire swing so I quickly passed her off to daddy (who was responsible for the spinning tire swing).

Miss Emilee not feeling too well
He took her to the restrooms and put some cool water on her face, neck, and head. She seemed to be feeling slightly better. We left and once we got into the vehicles (as we had driven seperate), Katelyn allowed her daddy to get about three blocks away before she started throwing up!! Poor girl. We all arrived home where some of the kids rested while their tummy settled and others went outdoors to play on their homemade "water slide."

The evening was pretty uneventful. I managed to make a small dent in the rather large pile of laundry that we are sprouting! It seems to take all-day and all-night long to keep up on all of the laundry. A family of seven can sure shuck out some dirty clothes! Gee Whiz!

Other than that, I sit here...wide awake...thinking. You know, thinking about all of the things that race in the mind of a woman. Like what bills need paid, what chores need done, what clothes the kids need for the morning, what needs to go in the lunchboxes tomorrow, and the list continues. And now, my thinking has me thinking. I need to go check the next load of laundry.

Sunday June 3, 2007:


This weekend was quite busy. I accomplished quite a bit on my "to do" list, which I'm so thankful for.

I've had a couple emails this weekend asking how I was doing. So, I thought I'd drop a quick update on what is happening here.

This weekend was very busy. Friday night was spent at the races with the children. We watched as our friend drove to victory lane. He was quite thrilled. Saturday was filled with house cleaning, family, friends, and a birthday cake. Jacob (who turned 10) had a friend over for the night as well as a cousin. The kids had a great time and stayed up way too late. Sunday morning I woke up and began the dreaded task of cleaning my room. I have been wanting to set up my room for the recovery period but dreaded the extreme cleaning that I needed to do as well as the rearranging that needed done. After hours (and I mean that literally) of cleaning, folding basket after basket of laundry, going through all the clothes and packing some away, and getting the computer set up again, I was finally done. While I was upstairs busting my butt, Tim was downstairs cleaning up a water mess that was in the basement. (sigh) I'm glad he took care of that. I don't think I could have handled that right now.

My body aches, partially from the heavy duty cleaning but mostly from my monthly visitor friend who decided to come pay me one last visit Friday morning. Now, more than ever, I realize just how lucky I will be to never have to endure another horribly painful period again! I have to admit though, it is kind of bittersweet...in a sick and disturbing way, I suppose. Thankfully, the pain is being reduced some with the help of some vicodin. I am so thankful for the way it takes the edge off just a little bit.

Emotionally, I'm hanging in there. I parted ways with the majority of my baby clothes and the rest of my maternity outfits on Friday. I didn't want to come home to them and I knew someone who would be able to use them so I decided to pass them along. Someone may as well get some good use out of the items.

I am anxious to be done with the surgery. I am just 8 days away. I hope to accomplish a few more tasks before then but if I don't, I'm satisfied with what I have finished. Afterall, it will be there waiting for me when I'm able to tend to it.

Tim asked me tonight, "Without too many details, how will they be doing this surgery?" I know that I have told him this all before but I delicately tod him once again. Right now, the hope is that we will do a laproscopically assisted vaginal hysterectomy. There is a chance that they will have to switch to an abdominal hyst but we're still holding out for the LAVH. In addition, they may have to take my left ovary/tube. They will also be doing the TOT procedure at the same time.

I am a little sad because I found out that Jacob will have a special "ceremony" on his last day of school. I will miss this as I will be in the hospital still. But, what can I do. I'm hoping to have Tim make it at least. We shall see.


Until next time...

Just me again...

First I'd like to thank those of you who entertained and kept our four children last night so that I could spend some one on one time with Mr. Jonathon. We truly appreciated it as I really needed to have Jonathon time.

Our evening started off great. He was in such a good mood, happy and enjoying himself.



That later turned into him being an absolute terror complete with a temper tantrum to boot. Thankfully, it only lasted about thirty minutes but it was one of the longest thirty minutes I have ever spent while trying to keep a fiesty toddler in my arms in the top of the bleachers. I finally decided to step down with him and walk for a bit. He soon settled down and enjoyed the rest of our evening together. Somewhere around midnight, he finally fell asleep. Yes, I know. He was out way past curfew. But he was with his momma and daddy...does that make it better?

Today was a rough day. I didn't get to sleep until well after 3am this morning. I picked up the kids and listened to nonstop bickering for hours on end. On top of being exhausted, being a referee to my lil stinkers, and just an overall pissy attitude...my day did not go well.

By 7pm, every single one of the kids were asleep in various parts of the house. And then...it happened. Jonathon woke up and was ready to go!! The only two that have stayed asleep are Austin and Katelyn. Tonight, when Jacob and Jonathon were awake, Jacob gave Jonathon the royal treatment.



It's now nearing midnight and we're up watching Final Destination 3. We watched Phantom of the Opera before this. And to top off the movie night, it will be Freddy vs Jason or some crazy movie.

Tim did manage to get his new "treasure" put in today. Take a look:



Our garden is slowly coming in. The corn plants are peeking through the freshly tilled dirt. The cucumber plants are coming in as well. We still have peas, beans, onions, peppers, and two different types of peppers to come up.

Oh, and we are also a pet-sitter this weekend. This is Judy. She's loveable and adorable. She is usually found in Jacob's classroom and since there would be nobody there this holiday weekend, we were the lucky pet sitters! Isn't she pretty?

I am not Martha....

So, I decided to do some simple, quick decorating for my boys. A long while ago, I purchased some special sheet sets for the two older boys. I had every intention of getting their bedroom all redone and in order. However, life, time and money got in the way. (sigh)

Tonight, I decided to pull the sheets out of the closet and put them to good use. Or, at least, the best that I could in a few short minutes without the use of a sewing machine, hammer, or nails. So, we did it the redneck hillbilly kind of way! (no offense to those redneck hillibillies that are reading this)

This is their new decor in their new room. This is actually Jonathon's bedroom (the other two have a bedroom downstairs but for some reason don't want to be down there). So, just as I said, I took that old desk out and added another twin bed from downstairs. Jonathon sleeps in his bed at the end of the twin beds. It's crowded but they only plan to sleep in there anyways.

Eventually, when I get enough time, energy, and money (sigh)...we plan to change rooms, yet again. The three boys will be in the larger than any child needs bedroom and the girls will be in the ever so comfy and cozy bedroom. All of their toys will move back to the basement into the oh it feels so cool playroom while mom and dad hang out in the rec room/den. Did I mention that the basement is about 20 degrees cooler than the upstairs? It's a major difference in temp.

But...until the switch, the boys have a temporary decorated bedroom that they thought was the coolest thing ever. I even got two giant hugs and a couple kisses on the cheek for doing it.

By the way, I think they have their momma's taste!









I went in to tuck my lil girls into bed tonight and Katelyn greeted me like this. Apparently, she didn't want her sister to keep her up with all the chattering. Afterall, I can't imagine that her ears would be cold...but I suppose you never know.




Have a great night!

Busy Day

Busy Busy Day...

Today has been warm hot. We spent some time outdoors playing with the kids. Watching Jonathon crawl along the grass was so funny. He didn't like the feeling of the grass on his knees so he decided to only let his right knee hit the grass. His left leg, he would swing around so that his foot hit the grass instead. It was the silliest looking crawl I've ever seen any of the kids do. He looked like a little frog.

We've accomplished some additional "to do" plans here. I've cleaned out Jonathon's bedroom quite a bit, allowing the waterbed to be used for any post surgical helpers, if they choose to stay. I've got a couple more boxes in the closet to go through as well as to get an empty tote box and pack away the new winter snow suits I purchased for the girls for this coming winter. (seems silly saying winter when the weather is 180 degrees)

I do have an old second-hand desk that we picked up thinking my boys would use it but honestly, they never have. They use the really nice one downstairs for a TV stand! So, since this one is pretty shaky and on it's last leg (literally) I think we'll take it out of Jonathon's room and get rid of it. The boys can use my desk and the girls can use theirs, when the time comes.

Tim finally put one of the air conditioners in the window today (the kitchen window). He still has to put one in our bedroom and the end bedroom. Even though it's not central air, it does take the edge off just enough. Someday, we'll have central air...but right now, we can't swing it.

I just looked over at my three children who are gathered around a mystery box. So, let's see what they are looking at....in my house! You see, they've created a little "box" with those interlocking waffle blocks. It's a house, they say. Take a look:



Little stinkers. Especially Emilee, who has no issues going "worm hunting" and shoving the precious critters deep within her pockets for safe keeping! ACK And to think I imagined I'd need to check my sons pockets instead!

Oh great... I just sent the girls back outdoors to "let the frog go." Of course, Em pipes up, "It's a toad." Within a minute, Em came back inside telling me they needed a towel. "The toad is bleeding", she says. Pretty soon, here she is, sneaking out the front door with a bath towel! Earlier this week, Em brought us a little sand castle mold. It was filled to the top with dirt but she informed me that there was a frog in there. I didn't think she was serious. We took it out front and dumped it out only to find a poor frog...dead! Tim discarded it and she said, "There is another frog too. We put salt and pepper and dirt on it." Sure enough...frog # 2 was there beneath the mound of dirt as well. And yes, he too had perished. Those poor poor frogs! I guess when the girls said they were frog hunting, they were not kidding. Frog Legs anyone? The joys!! My silly silly children!

Well, it's nearing 8pm and the kids are just getting in the shower. Katelyn is belting out the Star Spangled Banner as she sits in the tub! (smile)

We ran a bit late tonight as we had some company stop by. I'll update more later...

Until next time....

As promised

As promised, I am putting up photos from our day together.

Here is a photo that I thought was pretty. It's one of our flowers...but the camera captured it so nicely.




Below, you will see a photo of Jacob & Jonathon together. They share such a special bond. Jonathon also likes to "beat up" on his big brother. To date, he's given Jacob two bloody noses!!!








Jonathon also had his turn to play the "big man" and sit on the lawn tractor for a bit.





Emilee took me out to show me the "Green Mile" and insisted that I take a picture.




This is actually back in our woods. Unfortunately, the front part of our woods flood which causes a problem for us to get to the back of the woods!! My "thrifty, packrat husband" decided that he would go get chunks of cement from his parents house (which came from our old house when we took the cement driveway out) and make a "road." On top of the cement, he put the sod that we took off our gardens (to reduce weeding). This new "Green Mile" leads us from our front woods to the back woods without getting wet or needing to take a canoe! (and I mean that literally).







And, as promised, here is the handy dandy cart that Tim made the kids to pull behind the lawn tractor. We found an old carseat which is used to hold Jonathon securely into place (yes, the seat is secured to the cart).





I hope you had a great, productive day! We sure did. I now have a few more things off my pre-surgery list.

Until next time...

Too Funny!

Check this out!! :)

This video is of the children today. Emilee isn't IN the video, but rest assured, she's still there! Watch, Listen, and Enjoy!

-Becky

Today's Accomplishments & Honorable Mentions:

*Jonathon has a new tooth! The first one on the bottom for him. He's also just beginning to take a step. This week, he's taken ONE step unassisted before falling down. We have heard him say Momma, Dadda, Jake, Night Night, and I'm sure some other words that slip my mind right now.

*Kids are on Spring Break

*Ankle seems to be healing finally. Today was crutch free!

*College classes are kicking my butt.

*Cut two pine trees down in the side yard today (East side of driveway). Planning our flower gardens and vegetable gardens now.