Defeated. Frustrated. Angry. That's what I feel tonight. I have so many thoughts racing through my head and I'll admit that most of them are not nice.
As you know, I turned in my application for the nursing program. Before doing so, I was required to meet with an advisor who is in charge of the program. I went to my appointment hopeful. I left feeling defeated.
On one hand, I don't understand why a dream I long to fulfill has to be so difficult to reach. However, I am reminded that in His time, what is meant to be will be.
The advisor told me I didn't have enough points. I turned my application in anyways. In order to receive the five additional points I needed, my GPA for selected courses needed to be a 3.25. I had a 3.23. I was devastated!
There are options but I'm at a loss as to what way I need to go. I have committed two full years fulfilling the required classes and obtaining a general associates degree. Yet, for the second time, I am denied. The advisor told me not to be depressed over it. To take the next year, retake classes I didn't 4.0 and reapply in March 2009. I pay for college with student loans. We don't qualify for any type of grants. I wanted to ask her if she planned on contributing financially. However, all I could say was "This is incredibly frustrating." I wanted to say so much more but for fear of breaking down sobbing, I refrained.
I've checked into another local college. I can apply there October 1st. I missed the spring deadline due to one class that didn't transfer over.
I have a lead on another college that is an hour away. I'm really not wanting to drive an hour each way; however, I feel like I have no choice.
I just feel lost. I have been blessed with the amazing gift of being allowed to stay home with my children and watch them grow up. I have poured myself into my classes over the last two years with the hopes of reaching my dream of helping others and being a contributor financially to our family. To know that I am so close yet still so far away is heartbreaking.
The disappointment stings my heart. Especially when there are so many who have seen me put all of this time into my classes and question while I'm still not in a program. Those are the people who don't understand just how competitive and difficult it is to get into a nursing program. I am so thankful for my husband for understanding what this news does to my soul. He has encouraged me to continue the fight. To not step back. To not stop. We know that in time, I will achieve my dream. Not in my time.
In His time.
6 years ago
2 comments:
It can be SO hard to follow God's path especially when you have a different (and seemingly better) one lined up and planned out. I admire your faith and not just turning your post into a pity party. I have had some issues lately that I have tried putting in God's hands and it can be VERY tough to "let go and let God" but we can try very hard together. You have inspired me to remember that God has nothing but good things planned for us. You will achieve great things with the Lord but sometimes when we are upset or disappointed it can be hard to see it that way! Keep your chin up, it will happen for you. In the meantime are there other options you could do in the meantime like med. assistant of flobotomy, just while you wait for the program? I have a friend who did that and found it fullfilling.
Hey there...sorry to hear about your program. Maybe there is something bigger and better out there for you. Dan & I discussed school and he's on board now..I am officially going. I have an appointment on the 11th. I'm proud of you coming this far with 5 kids. That's a huge accomplishment right there. Hang in there!
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