You will pay

Have you ever gone to dinner and felt like you should have just stayed home eating bread and drinking water instead? That was how my evening progressed.

Tim asked if we wanted to go to dinner, so we went. Another family came with us. We headed out to our local mall and checked in. It was an hour wait. No problem. We put our name in and walked around the mall for a while. Of course, the wait was longer than I would have liked but I was looking forward to a nice sit down meal that I didn't have to prepare and clean up after.

We are finally seated. All ten of us. Four adults, six children. At each end of the long table sat the adults. The women at one end with the youngest kids, the men at the other end with the older boys. Initially, I felt honored that my husband took it upon himself to order the drinks for our family. The waitress returns, passes out drinks starting at the end of the table with the men. She reaches us and places two straws on the table and says, they have straws at the other end.

Lesson #1: Do NOT leave two straws for us (at the ladies end) when there are clearly at least three people who need a straw. (We had Jonathon sitting on the very end of the table).

We are looking over our menus, getting the children situated with what they would be ordering. And we wait. Sure enough, the waitress returns to the table to take care of our men to take our order. She started with the guys, of course, and then came to our table. I specifically told her Emilee wanted CHEESE and PICKLES on her burger. Jonathon wanted a plain burger. I ordered my meal and before she let me finish, she turned away to take the other womans order and left! Someone caught her and I told her I also wanted a salad with my order (as did the other woman). She said she'd put those in and left.

Lesson #2: Obviously you let one of our husbands order a salad without having to be reeled back to the table. Perhaps you could give the women the same option.

Salads are delivered, of course the men received theirs first. After placing them before us, we (women) requested silverware as there was not enough brought to the table initally. She replied with an "okay" or some such nonsense. After waiting and waiting, she clearly was not returning. I happened to look over and see a handful of wrapped silverware sitting on a ledge. We (women) retrieved our own silverware and started eating our salads.

Lesson #3: You work here. You must know where they keep the silverware. Maybe you need a refresher course.

About two or three bites into our salads, the waitress returns. This time with two soda refills for, yep you guessed it, our husbands! She walks right over to them, tells them that she figured they would need a refill and places them before the men.

Lesson #4: Newsflash bimbo, perhaps you should have looked to see whether they needed refills or not. Especially since they hadn't even drank 1/4 of their first glass. Oh, and it's okay, the ladies or children didn't need refills. WE NEEDED SILVERWARE!

Soon the food arrives. Kids are getting antsy. Jonathon has already been taken out of the restuarant once (by me) until he had his emotions under control. He wasn't screaming but he was not wanting to sit in his chair. I find it inconsiderate when parents allow their children to misbehave when there are others trying to enjoy a good meal. We started eating when I noticed Emilee wouldn't touch her burger. No cheese, no pickles, no ketchup, mustard, NOTHING. A dry burger! I specifically asked for pickles and cheese on hers.

Lesson #5: At least try to please the children, even if you are disrespecting us women. It's not her fault she was born with a vagina!

Dinner continued. I grew more frusterated at this waitress when she came by and asked if the kids needed refills, totally ignoring the women, AGAIN. She came through at another point and asked the men if everything was okay (food). As she walked away, I lost my cool.

The guys, who obviously paid no attention to what was happening, didn't understand why I was growing so impatient. In a louder than normal tone, I told them that I was tired of being ignored and not being addressed when she came to the table. I said that we were never asked if we needed refills but before they even finished a 1/4 of their drink, she had refills in front of them. I continued with how we requested silverware for our salads when they were brought to us but yet never received any and had to retreive some ourselves. I continued by saying that obviously, she was trying to impress the wrong people at the table because we (the women) were the ones who were paying for the dinners and that she was on her way to earning no tip. The other husband defended the waitress and said, "Well, you have to say something to her." I told him I did say something and yet she still returned without silverware for us but had refills for them. His reply was that she obviously can't hear what we were saying. I snapped back that she isn't blind!

Of course, Tim said he didn't realize she was doing this until I brought it to his attention. The other guy just felt we were blowing it out of proportion and making a scene. If I wasn't already ticked off enough, that was enough to push the last button I had. In the meantime, Momma and Jonathon continued to go round and round. The waitress appeared again and this time, Tim told her I needed a refill (empty glass) as well as ranch dressing (for me and the kids' dinner). Yet again, I excused myself from the table and left the restuarant with Jonathon, leaving my meal to sit. This time, I was fuming. It figured it was better I removed myself from the setting or I was going to lose my patience with this waitress and our friend.

Lesson #6: Feel free to cater to our husbands' needs. Just remember, your tip suffers! It's not always the men who are paying. And by the way, if you're going to take care of our husbands, feel free to cook, clean, and wash their clothes too!

Finally, Tim came to find me. He told me to finish my meal (gosh, how noble of him) and he would take care of Jonathon. He said they had all ordered dessert but were getting it to go since Jonathon was being grouchy. Gosh, apparently the waitress rubbed off on my husband since nobody thought twice about asking me if I would like dessert at all. Let alone getting the chance to finish my meal without being rushed! Of course, he said I wasn't there to ask if I wanted dessert. I ended up snapping back that someone could have come and ask me if I wanted any. Or that the waitress could have asked me before she handed me the bill for $80.00.

Lesson #7: At least ask if there is anything else she could get for us before she hands me the bill. Especially considering I wasn't even at the table when she came by and took the dessert orders!

Of course, I was waiting to pay the bill, along with the other wife. The guys left, I'm sure to avoid a scene. The waitress returns, making sure to break down any larger bills. I'm positive she did so expecting a pretty nice tip.

Lesson #8: If you expect a decent tip, provide at minimum, decent service. You caused your own tip to be significantly cut. Those two $1 bills I left were because you took such good care of us our husbands. Had you done your job correctly, you would have been given ten times that!

I stood up to leave, dropped two $1 bills on the table and headed for the podium. I requested to see a manager (Steve) who listened to our complaints and offered apology after apology. He asked what he could do for us now to which I told him nothing as we were leaving. I wasn't looking for a discount or free meal. I was looking for proper service for our entire party who just paid $125 for our dinner. Again, he continued to apologize and said he would be speaking with the waitress. I thanked him and walked out.

Lesson #9: I hope you (the waitress) are equally attentive to your next customers, male or female.

Lesson #10: If Momma's not happy, nobodys happy!

This pretty much ruined my evening. I was clearly irritated while there. I was able to shake it off after leaving but it just bothered me that the men didn't notice what was going on and when it was brought to their attention the other husband made it out as if I was just overreacting. I'd like to see how he would handle it if the shoe was on the other foot. How would he feel if a male waiter provide us with excellent service and ignored the men completely? I'm sure Tim would laugh it off because that's how he is but the other one, I'm positive he would have been just as furious as we were.