Wednesday, August 20, 2008

How do you say...

Tim had been working all day and I had been on the road all day. We finally met up in town at the boys' football practices. Wearing our typical street clothes, we headed downtown. At one point, Tim asked if I thought we should go "dressed like this?" I looked at him and asked, "What do you think she would want?" Knowing we didn't have time to make it home, change and back in time, we wore what we had on.

This afternoon, family and friends gathered to mourn the loss of a special person and celebrate the life she lived. Tim and I were able to make it there for the last hour of the gathering. Hesitant, we walked up the sidewalk, hand in hand. Are there ever any right words to say? Do you really know how they feel? So many people don't know what to say or are afraid of saying the wrong thing so they say nothing at all. There's something about visitations that brings out the hesitation in people, us included.

As we walked, each step seemingly to take minutes, my mind wandered. As I held the hand of my husband, my heart ached at the thought of those who would give anything for one more touch of her hands. One more glance, one more word, one more kiss, one more hug. I looked at all the people, each connected to her in one way or another. Each person came to pay respect to not only Pam but to her husband, her children, and each of her other family members. As my eyes darted from group to group, all I could think was, "What an honor." What an honor to have made an impression, big or small, in the lives of so many.

How do you say Goodbye to someone who lives deep in the lives of so many?

My best answer tonight is, you don't. Until you meet again, watch those she's deeply rooted in. The lives of her husband, her children, her grandchildren. Watch closely and you will see her laughter, her looks, her mannerisms, and her love.

Our thoughts continue to be with each of you.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm going to be a wreck today...not looking forward to the service at all...I'm bringing an arsanal of kleenex.

Unknown said...

Becky -
That was SO beautifully written. I hope that you and her family do indeed find solace in her memory and finding how she lives on.

Dora said...

You can say what you feel.
- I'll miss her.
- I hope you know how much we cared for her and for you (to her husband)
- I remember when she.....
- Remember how she loved to.....
- I thought of her today when.....

Those are things that will bring you comfort and them...you can't take it away but you can walk with them and make it bearable.

Hugs to you too - letting go of friends is not easy...its bittersweet when that nasty cancer if involved. On one hand you are relieved to see their suffering end and on the other hand, you are so sad to see them go.

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