Suck it up, Butt Cake!

The other day, Emilee had tried to copy something she heard us say earlier in the week. The only problem; however, is that she didn't hear us correctly. So, instead of "Suck it up, Cupcake" she said, "Suck it up Butt Cake!" It was one of those moments that you just had to be here to appreciate. :)

Another one of those moments was watching a friend of mine, while sitting with my inlaws, try to utter an explaination to her daughter who asked what "this means" (as she did the hand gesture for "Doing it", you know, the way we might have done when we were in middle school). I'm not sure who was more shocked, my friend or myself. My inlaws just giggled as we tried to let her know that it was an inappropriate gesture.

Things here are settling down. It's taking a while, but I think my blood pressure is starting to decrease and my mood is beginning to improve. Today has been one of the better days in the past week. It has been a difficult and extremely stressful week but I am thinking that we are now on an upswing.

Today, we worked on cleaning the house, doing the laundry and making sure wood was cut and stacked. It took most of the day but it was so worth it. I love looking at a kitchen with clean counters and clean floors! I mopped all the floors the old fashioned way, on my hands and knees! My hands are dry from the cleaning solution and my back is sore but the look and smell of clean floors makes it worth it.

Tonight I had my ER orientation. I'm pretty excited about the ER clinicals. I'm also a little nervous too! Afterwards, my hubby met myself and three other classmates and we all went for a burger. We shared some interesting stories, had plenty of laughs and enjoyed our time out. It gave us two hours of time together which we needed!

The past two days I've been spending researching different options for my future. I'm feeling "burnt out" with school. I'm becoming more frustrated with the RN programs which is causing me to just want to "give up" on my goals. So, I've spent some time reevualating my goals and looking at what called me to the nursing field to begin with. I want to help people. And so, after talking with my hubby and several people, I realized that maybe I needed a change of pace. I have no doubt that my calling is still to help people. I still believe that medicine is where I belong. However, for now, I am going to try another route until I can resubmit my application. As I continue with my EMT academy, I am looking into the Sonography (General, Cardiac or Vascular) and Radiology programs too. I've checked the classes needed and I had nearly every single one already. Applications for the program are due Jan 31st and I would begin in May, if accepted. This would give me about a month off after ending my EMT academy before starting classes again.

So, maybe I need to continue with EMS, allowing myself the opportunity to help others and fufill the calling I feel I have, while pursuing Sonography or Radiology. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a nurse afterall. Or at least, not right now! During our orientation tonight, we were introduced to a "newly licensed nurse" who worked as a tech for ten years before getting his nursing degree! So who knows, maybe someday I'll get there.

Something else I wanted to add... Have you ever had a conversation with someone about something that, at the time, didn't ring any bells? Last Friday, I went in for some cardiac testing. I had an Echo done by a woman who told me she had been doing Cardiac Sonography for the last five years. She went on to say that she had been going to nursing school, moved and dropped out. She then later became interested in Sonography and pursued her present career. She said she loves her job! Near the end of the Echo, I shared with her that I had been trying to get into the Nursing program and was currently in EMT Academy. She wished me luck and I went on my way. It wasn't until I had come home, checked an email from a friend a day later and realized that maybe this was the sign I had asked for previously.

Maybe it is...maybe not. In the mean time, I need to keep my focus on what I feel my true calling is. To help others.