Moments like this

His eyes, so tired.

His body, exhausted.

I bring him close as I watch his face, memorizing every feature, his every move.

The sound of um-um-um as he tries to stay awake for just a moment longer.

How he guides his thumb into his mouth with ease.

How his tiny fists clench around his favorite snuggle cloth.

Watching as his fingers fumble until they locate the corner.

The way his eyes slowly close, yet fight to remain open ever so slightly.

He lifts the cloth, tapping it just beneath his nose as if he were tapping a drum.

At last, he sleeps.

Peacefully

This afternoon, I had the simple pleasure of wrapping my baby boy up in my arms, wisking him off to my room, where we spent the afternoon napping. As I laid there, watching him, memorizing him, my heart swelled. My eyes filled with tears as I thought about how very lucky I am to be his mom.

I cherish this time as I know moments like this will last a lifetime in my memories but all too soon, they will be a thing of the past. My sweet baby is growing up. The thought that he will soon be two is so bittersweet for me.

It marks an end to another chapter in my book. It marks the end of my baby years. Yet, it also begins a time where there is a little more freedom. Freedom from the constraints that an infant can put on a mother, a father, a family. Gone are the days of nursing, pumping, rocking, and sleepless nights. No more infant carriers, slings, or tent sized diaper bags with every single essential that five parents a parent might need. The bottles turn into sippie cups. The sippies turn into big kid cups. The diapers turn into training pants. Ma and Momma slowly fade to Mom. The independence grows stronger and even though you couldn't wait to hear it, The phrase I can do it, stings your heart!

And so, the realization that I will end this chapter and move to the next is hitting me a little harder today. I am honored, blessed beyond belief to have been chosen to be the mother to five very precious children. Yet, it's days like this that I can't quite believe that this is really it.

And so, the next chapter begins...