Friday, June 13, 2008

Emotional Day

Ever had those days when the tears just sneak up on you and fall freely no matter where you are at or who you are talking to?

That was me today.

Hi, I'm Becky and today I'm an emotional basket case.

So....

To you, the sweet person who made it a point to ask me if I was okay, to let me know that you were thinking of me even though you didn't know what was going on yet, and to tell me that you would be there if I needed you...Thank you! Thank you for the hug, the support, the email this evening and for understanding that I just couldn't get the words to escape from my lips today.

To you, the one who made it a point to ask how things were going, even though you had a classroom of children around you, Thank you! Thank you for asking because it reminded me that there are those out there who really do care and will show us by speaking to us directly.

To you, the idiot who cut me off today when the light you had was clearly red but you still felt compelled to run through it anyways, even though I had a green arrow, Thank you for reminding me that I must keep my head clear and not lose focus. For if I had lost focus today, I would have been hit by your dumb butt.

To you, my dear friends who took the time to come over and hang out while I tried to avoid several meltdowns, Thank you. I appreciated it. Unfortunately, the emotions snuck up on me several times throughout the evening so please accept my apologies for needing to walk away every now and then to let the tears fall privately. I'm not one who can utter a word when I'm this emotional and crying already.

To you, the one who poured a little salt on some already painful open wounds, please let me remind you nicely that right now may not be the time to tell me about what others plan to do in the future. While I don't believe you intentionally said those things to hurt me, they did. Some things are better left unsaid.

To you, the one who I knew so long ago, I hope you're doing well. Do you know that there is not a day that goes by that I don't pass your picture and wish things were different? Oh how I wish pain, bitterness and anger never existed.

To you, the one who called to tell me you brought home the things I would be needing soon, Thank you. I will be out this weekend to pick them up.

To you, the one who has always said it wasn't personal and had no problems, it still feels that way. I wish it didn't.

To all of you, who continue to think about us, email us, call us, and check in with us instead of asking someone else what the lastest gossip is, Thank You. Thank you for coming to us directly and for offering and showing your support. It means so much to know that there are those out there that care and show it. Your actions will not be forgotten. You are very appreciated.

To you, my husband, who continues to pick me up when I am down, Thank You. Thank you for your encouragement tonight. Thank you for reminding me that everything will be okay. Thank you for walking beside me. I love you.

To You, Dear Lord, Please help me to remember that there is a reason for everything. My heart is heavy tonight with so many issues weighing it down. Please help me to release the anger, bitterness, and hurt I'm feeling. Please lift the anxiety, fear, and sadness that my heart is burdened with. Please help me to see what is worth mending and what is worth letting go, and doing just that. Tonight I feel broken, my shoulders loaded with burdens, my heart hurting. May I wake up tomorrow feeling more at peace than I do today.

Sending many blessings your way...

Goodnight

2 comments:

Dora said...

No matter how heavy it is in our minds....God's grace is bigger, badder and better than anything you're carrying.

I know it's easier said than done but take deep breaths and release the power that you are giving it. Once you release it, it gets lighter.

Now, don't go doing what I've perfected - trying to take it all back.

With each passing day, you examine your options and make the best choice(s) that you can at the time with the resources that you have.

Sending {{{{ }}}
D

Anonymous said...

Wow...I'm taking a breather and catching up on my blogs that I've been missing out on. Not sure what is happening, but we'll be praying for you. And...don't you think one more minute about being "emotional" or for feeling the need to apologize to people for having one of those days, we all need/have them. Take care.

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