I had a post all written in my head. I was going to come here simply to do nothing other than complain about how my unruly children would not go to bed. I was so frusterated that I was just about ready to put a wanted ad out on Freecycle asking for some patience.
At one point, I laid down with them, hopeful that they would crash with me by their side. As soon as I thought Jonathon was about to doze off, he'd turn to me and start talking. "Momma, tractor putt putt putt." "Momma, play Chandler." "Momma, see train." "Momma, where's Jake?" "Momma, Katewin naughty?" "Momma, Momma, Momma." Yes, adorable conversations to have with my two year old (is that possible?) but not when it's past midnight! After the third hour had passed and the kids were still awake, I turned my head up and begged for help. "Please Lord, Please let them fall asleep." And then, I started singing. I do that when I feel overwhelmed.
You see, I wanted quiet. I wanted to do the things that needed done for college. I wanted to surf the internet. I wanted to update my blog and tinker with the photos I took today. All the things I wanted to do just couldn't be done with the kids awake and bouncing off the walls.
A few minutes passed and I looked over to see Emilee sleeping. I turned to my right and saw that Katelyn had joined her. And there at my feet, I felt these tiny little hands rubbing my leg. It was Jonathon. And then, it hit me. It's not about what I want. It's about what they want. What they need. What I have to give them every single time they want it. They wanted Momma. Momma's love. Momma's arms holding them tight. Momma's kisses smothering their foreheads. Momma's voice singing them to sleep.
I pushed the keyboard away, shut my binder and bent down to pick up my handsome son. I held him, much like the first time I was able to hold him. I rubbed his head, patted his bottom, rocked him as I rocked side to side as most mothers do. I kissed his hands, his forehead, and his toes. And I sang. Within a few minutes, his heavy eyes gave way and he snuggled close to my chest surely listening to each beat of my heart.
I watched him, amazed by how much he has grown. Wanting to remember every feature of his face in my memory. Thanking him silently for helping me to realize that sometimes, we must slow down and take life one moment at a time. For it's moments like this that are gone in an instant. Moments that all too soon will be nothing more than a distant memory.
Have you cuddled your child today?
6 years ago
2 comments:
Becky, I completely understand.
And I did cuddle my child today...and sang her to sleep. My girls still love for me to sing to them, even though I can't carry a tune in a bucket.
Ugh Becky! As the tears roll off my face, I have to say that I've had many of these moments myself. The things you want to do and the things you *think* "have" to be done until those little hands and beautiful eyes stop you in your tracks. A voice has said "THIS is what you NEED to be doing and nothing else at this moment".
That voice is always right and those moments are never forgotten. The dishes and the laundry and the school work are not remembered but those precious little moments with those precious little babies are.
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